climb on.

I met a beautiful man tonight. Easy on the eyes. Quick with the wit...and I met him climbing.

I've been doing a lot of things by myself that people think are weird. They make comments, but just because I don't have someone to go with me, doesn't mean I'm not going to enjoy doing the things I want to do. I learned this when I was married and my ex didn't want to go out to shows with me. I went and saw Motopony at least three times by myself. Minus the Bear twice. And then I made friends who would go out with me. Since moving back, I can't get people to go out on weeknights. I kind of get it, but I'm not going to sit around. I went and saw Blue Like Jazz by myself. I went out to a show in Portland last night by myself. Sure, I knew Josiah, but it's not like we're best friends. 1776 was amazing. The show got shut down because it was too loud, and Josiah started spinning old 90's hip hop. Delightful. The mack was returned. Selfs were chiggity checked before they were riggity wrecked...

and tonight...tonight I climbed. For Ashley's birthday we went to the Circuit. There were so many people there. People who boulder are kind of d-bags. They watch you climb, and judge you on what level you are climbing at. I haven't climbed in months, so I'm climbing 0's. It's weird because you can watch guys look at you, and then stop paying attention when they see you climb at low levels. Maybe this is what it's like when people try to pick you up at the gym. I was married when I was going to the gym, so I never gave a crap...but now that I'm single, I like to watch. Either way, my hands are sore and torn up. I'm sure my muscles will be sore tomorrow, but I had fun. I flashed some v1s. I'm pretty excited about that. I'm also excited that my climbing pants fit, and are loose. I'm getting back in shape, and it feels good. I probably wrecked that by eating wings and fries and drinking beer tonight, but life is short, and I'm going to live it.

Tonight, we all ate el hefe spiced wings at Fire On The Mountain. It was kind of intense. Rob, Casey and I were the only people who didn't cry. Beautiful moment. I did have to drown my mouth in beer, which I'm not convinced made it better. It lead to really disgusting, loud burps, to which Casey responded appropriately by saying, "Who is this girl, and where has she been all my life?" He sang the crappy rock music they played in the restaurant to me. Thank baby Jesus I'm not dating.

So, I'm going to start working on my list. I know I have all of the predefined ideals. #1 - he has to have the ability to be a great father. This goes without saying because my dad was such a poor excuse as a father. Even if I don't have kids, I have to know that if it were a possibility, he'd be able to give my kids the family I never had. #2 - he has to be wicked smart, or sharp witted. I need someone to challenge me, and keep me on my toes. He can either have the same kind of mind as mine or compliment me. Either way, I do not ever want to be with someone who does not challenge me to think differently or grow.

Those are the two predefined absolutes. I'm starting to compile new items. Must love the outdoors, in some capacity. Camping, hiking, swimming, climbing, skiing, etc. Must like adventure...travel, new experiences, living life. I do not want a man who will sit at home while I go out. If I have kids, I want to take them climbing, camping, hiking, fishing, waterfall jumping. I want them to see all of the beauty that the world has to offer, and I want my future partner to feel the same way. He's got to have his shit together. I don't mean that he knows exactly where his life is going, or doesn't have any issues...but I want him to take care of himself financially. To have a career that he is comfortable with. Because I am not paying for someone else to go to school. I am not letting it take someone away from me, change who they are fundamentally and watch them cycle through a million careers while I am stable and waiting for them to start life.

Added bonuses: comes from a good family. One of the two of us should probably have an actual idea of what a good family looks like, and I don't have a clue. Plays an instrument. I want my kids to grow up in a house filled with music, and I don't play anything. It's not above me to learn to play something. I casually played a few instruments when I was younger, I've just never had the patience to master anything, and I get frustrated because my voice is AWFUL. Healthy sexual appetite is a bonus, too. I want someone who wants me as much as I want them.

So, that's my list. Being around a few couples who have been together for at least 7-12 years is making me realize how much people take each other for granted. I don't want to feel that way about whoever I'm with...or have them feel that way about me. To ignore their wants and needs because I'm selfish, or vice versa.

Yep.